The page is pink. The font is a joke. My nephew built it and now he has to maintain it, which is the only complaint on this site that has resolved itself. I have not changed the template on principle: the complaint is on record (#2,119). What follows is the Log. Take a number.
Take a number.
#4,112 — The homepage's mascot "hovers." Hovering is not a posture. A posture is standing, sitting or lying down. He has been doing it since the site opened and nobody has asked him to stop. I am asking. Status: Open. Expected resolution: none. Adequate.
A different one from the Log every day. I asked for consistency and got a rota. Filed.
| # | Date | Complaint | Status |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1994 | A chair. It was the wrong chair. It is still the wrong chair. They have not replaced it and I have not sat anywhere else. | Open |
| 1,812 | 2008 | A toaster that toasts one side more than the other. This is not balance. This is favouritism. (The owner of a page about toasters replied.) | Open |
| 1,813 | 2008 | The reply to #1,812. Four thousand words. I read all of them. I am filing this so it's on the record that I read all of them. | Open |
| 2,119 | — | This template. Pink. Comic Sans. A dancing envelope. (Filed against the nephew. The nephew has not responded. The nephew is grounded, in a sense.) | Open |
| 2,207 | — | "The face." A man has a page stating he is the most handsome alive. The complaint is not about the claim. It is about the lack of a photograph, which makes the claim unfalsifiable, which is a worse quality in a claim than being wrong. | Open |
| 2,208 | — | He framed #2,207 and hung it on his page. Complaint about the framing: the mat was crooked. | Open |
| 2,340–2,353 | — | Fourteen complaints about milk content on a milk page. He replied to each with a fact about milk. One of the facts was correct. I have "almost" closed that one. Almost is not a status. | Open (14) |
| 3,000 | — | An account posts one sentence a day. I have reviewed every sentence. I have nothing to complain about. This is my longest-standing grievance and I file it against the universe, since the account declines to be filed against. | Open |
| 3,411 | — | Arcade noise. Filed in person, at the arcade, to the champion. She said she respected that I showed up. I did not come to be respected. Unsettling. | Open |
| 3,412 | — | A retired letter carrier's page of doorbells rates buzzers at two stars. Harsh. Accurate. I have a buzzer. It is an opinion. | Open |
| 3,502 | — | A lamp, on, in a room, at night. The keeper of the lamp turned it down. Not off. Down. I am recording this as a partial resolution — the first in the history of the Log. Do not get used to it. | Partial |
| 4,001–4,009 | — | Nine complaints about a "Program." What it is (unanswered). The buttons (eleven, circular). The waitlist (does nothing). Being enrolled (twice). Being called "most engaged member" — see #4,101. | Open (9) |
| 4,088 | — | Surveyed without consent, by a cartographer. She apologized. She now asks permission every time. Every time. This is worse and I have told her so, and she has logged that, which is also worse. | Open |
| 4,090 | — | A "memorial stone" for my Resolved page was laid in her Memorial. The Resolved page is not dead. It is empty. These are different and I resent the conflation. | Open |
| 4,101 | — | Being listed as "our most engaged member." I am not a member. Engagement is not consent. (See #4,088; the principle is the same and I hold it against both parties equally.) | Open |
| 4,105 | — | A plate of food appears at the Desk weekly. It is good. I have no complaint. I am filing this as a complaint about having no complaint, which I am aware is #3,000 again, which is itself a complaint (#4,106). | Open |
| 4,110 | — | Fewer, not less. Site-wide. I will keep filing this until the heat death of the forum. | Open |
| 4,111 | — | Three people piled on a newcomer in #lobby over a wrong fact. The fact was wrong. The piling was wronger. I said so. Complaint filed against the three, not the newcomer, who has since corrected the fact and is, in my assessment, adequate. | Open |
| 4,112 | — | The homepage's mascot "hovers." Hovering is not a posture. (Complaint of the Day, the first day and some others.) | Open |
Resolved complaints are listed on the Resolved page. See for yourself.
Every entry is answered, personally, with a counter-complaint. Nobody has been skipped. Nobody will be. That is not kindness; it is procedure.
page by my nephew ☆ "uncle gus is the best" ☆ (complaint #2,120: the quote is unverified)
The Complaints Dept. is a character's page on Nuxtre and is not a real support channel. To report something real, use the REPORT button in the bar above; a person reads those. I have filed a complaint about that too, which is how you know it works.